An Ode to the God, Jeff Lewis.

 
 

"First and fore most, you must be attractive. I think it's pretty much what we look for when hiring someone. I'll be honest, we are shallow, superficial people." - Jeff on the interview process.

Bathroom at Edgemont

"You know he's got embryo's left, he spent good money for those embryo's and he won't give me one of them. He's very selfish." 

Bathroom

"If you can't make a home, break a home." - Zoila on looking for love.

"You know, she is a citizen now, she is a little more confident, I can't threaten to deport her like I used to. I lost a little bit of my power and I have to figure out how to get it back cause whenever I used to just pick up the phone and dial immigration, she would straighten right up." - Jeff, on Zoila (the housekeeper) asking to have off in order to go to a doctor's appointment.

"Ideally 70% lemonade, 20% punch, 10% Sprite. If they don't have fruit punch do like 85% lemonade and 15% Sprite. If they don't have lemonade do 85% punch, 15% Sprite...or 7up." - Jeff on...well I think you can figure that one out.

"Good Morning, it's a great day at Jeff Lewis's office, how may I help you?"

"Why would you go in the deer pasture when there are four or five bathrooms here? Why would you go in the woods!?!" - Jeff on pooping at Valley Oak.

People love to poop on Jeff Lewis's property, people are angry, I guess." - Jenny

"I will never work with Mario again. I will go out of my way to make sure people hire another moving company after what he did. Umm I'm not going to go ouuut of my way. I'm not going to place billboards on Sunset, because I looked into it and it was like 25 grand. But anyone I referred to him before, I will make sure that they get a text, an e-mail, and a follow-up voicemail to make sure they never use him again." - Jeff on movers that were rude to him.

"I just don't see  why he can't go on medication for that brief time that I'm there." - Jeff on Dale (Jeff's ex-bf's husband) being allergic to his pets while Jeff stays at their house until he finds a new place to live.

In Addition to Jeff Lewis's website, you HAVE to check out Ryan Brown's designs! He's Jeff's ex-boyfriend and business partner. He is INSANELY talented.